Can We Be “Good Enough?”
I read a Facebook post the other day that caused me to pause. The person was speaking about being a “good enough” mother. It got me thinking about being good enough in more ways than just motherhood. It got me thinking that in today’s crazy pace and space, “good enough” really isn’t good enough. It resonated with me because I have (and I know of many moments in time) felt the very same in driving to be better than “good enough.” Why isn’t “good enough” okay? A young man took his own life a couple of months ago because seemingly he wasn’t good enough. It not only got me thinking, it took my breath away.
How many of us have pushed ourselves from a very early age to be better than “good enough?” From playing sports, to succeeding in school, to climbing the corporate ladder, to being a great partner, to being an awesome parent, and on and on. My daughter, the marathoner, uses the hashtag #progressnotperfection. Oh, to really be in that space. Isn’t that what we should be chasing? Or better said, “Isn’t that what I should be chasing?”
Donald Winnicott, the grandfather of children’s psychology did considerable research on being a “good enough” mother. He said (which easily applies to more than motherhood)… “If mothers (insert humans) are told to do this or that or the other … they lose touch with their own ability to act … Only too easily they feel incompetent. If they must look up everything in a book, they are always too late even when they do the right things, because the right things have to be done immediately. It is only possible to act at exactly the right point when the action is intuitive or by instinct, as we say. The mind can be brought to bear on the problem afterwards.”
And so, through my reflection, and what so significantly took my breath away, I know I need to listen to the message, “I am good enough” and to not only believe it … but live it! I won’t be perfect, but I will be work in progress.
The person in the Facebook post said, “In every aspect of my life, I’m finding ways to embrace, “good enough.” In the sense that I’m good enough and the things I do may not be perfect and I could be better… they are good enough.”
I’m wishing for us all to feel “good enough” today.