The Importance of Validation

I read an article last week in the Huffington Post where the author challenged us to rethink how we get validated because it can be perceived as overkill or perhaps not genuine. The article called it insanity.  On the contrary!  Validation reminds us that the work we do and the relationships we have make a difference in people’s lives.  This writer thinks those reminders are pretty important.

Dr. Linda Sapadin, in a blog, eloquently defined validation.  She said, “It is getting feedback from others that what I do and what I say matters to you.  You hear me.  You see me.  You think of me.  You thank me.  You acknowledge my accomplishments.  You appreciate my efforts.”  Who could turn those things down?  Without validation, imagine what would happen to someone’s own self esteem.

Dr. Sapadin shares that the opposite of validation is non-recognition.  It shows up in comments like, “I don’t care what you want, what you say, what you think.  Who cares?  You’re overreacting.”  Ouch!  I see this time and again in the workplace.

So how do you feel about your own validation needs?  As a giver and a receiver? I believe I give validation and acknowledgement freely and openly and that others genuinely receive it.  I am abundantly blessed to receive it from clients, family and friends.  And when I receive it, it makes me feel appreciated, valued and loved.   I don’t question whether the one delivering it is being authentic or out for their own gain.  I simply feel appreciated.  And yes, I love hearing it often.   (Gracious, who wouldn’t?)  Kudos to social media for stepping in to create  venues to enable it happen.  Is it as good as the “human connection, the meeting, the lunch date, etc.?”  No, but who has time to visit or chat with everyone they want to validate?

Dr. Sapadin adds that you also need to validate yourself.  She says if you don’t, you might have a tendency to negate the validation when you receive it believing that the deliverer perhaps didn’t really mean it.  She finishes with the reminder to not shy away from praising yourself or praising others, and let the praise you receive be a beautiful gift.   Those that aren’t able to do this can wind up angry and bitter.  And I’ve seen it!  Validation is good for the soul!

So, for those of you out there who believe we should be rethinking validation, witness how you feel the next time someone validates you.  For the rest of you, keep those happy face emoji’s and thumbs up coming for each other!  In our tumultuous world, what a blessing to give and receive!